Dine-in Diva Mugs

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

La Table

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

"I come here for the pepper."

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

"Excuse me, but could you ask the chef to make this a little more photogenic?"

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

"Larry never gains an ounce!"

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

"Today's special is we'll pull the plug on the jukebox if someone else's music annoys you."

"More croutons, sir?"

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.

Woman reads Nigella Lawson cook book: 'Add butter to the mixture, remembering to moisten your lips ... whisk for three to four minutes, pouting throughout ...'

'Listen, Geoffrey ...I know you're a clinical psychologist, but I DON'T have A.D.D. ! You're just incredibly boring.'

"Whatever is quickest - I'm starving!"

"I can't have anything that's a food."