Dietary Divas Pillows

The Last Thanksgiving

"Early Bird, you need to go easy on the worms."

"These aren't just your ordinary town square pigeons, that's low gi gluten-free bread. . ."

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

La Table

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"I come here for the pepper."

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"Charles didn't like tofu."

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

Valleyview diet clinic

'Diet considerations.'

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"