Diet Soda Pillows

'Oh yeah...a diet soda, too.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Soup of the month.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"We won!"

The Alpha Seltzer

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

The discovery of asparagus.

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

'You put him on a diet, so he put you on a diet.'

'Vegetarian is an old Indian word which means bad hunter.'

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

"Losing your fizz is very common for a man your age."

"...there, I found it. Stellar! I love this nutrition app!"

Macho Vegetarian

"You won’t need refills."

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

'Is your cap on tight? We don't want any more accidents in the bed, do we?'

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"Some doctor that guy is - He's OBSESSED with diet and exercise!"