Diet Drinks Pillows

Extra Light Beer

Soup of the month.

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

The discovery of asparagus.

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

'I've found a way to improve on light beer!'

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

'Vegetarian is an old Indian word which means bad hunter.'

'Now, for the hyperactive, we've come up with a lethargy drink.'

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

'New Barbeque.'

"You won’t need refills."

Macho Vegetarian

'Try my health brew...1% fat, no cholesterol, high fiber and low sodium.'

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

"Frankly Mr. Watkins - all your current health issues are down to you rubbish diet..."

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"Some doctor that guy is - He's OBSESSED with diet and exercise!"

'According to Dr Alvin McDowell, everything that was good for you is now bad for you!'

'You're eating too much roughage.'

“Children hate me.”

'Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun.'