Drinking Soda Pillows

Man watching a huge T.V., while eating a huge box of snacks and drinking a huge can of soda

"You can lead me to water but you can't make me drink, unless it has added food coloring and sweeteners."

'It was funny, but not 'laugh So hard Your Soda Comes Out Your Nose' funny.'

"When I was your age, I was a lot older."

I must say your enormous soda beguiles me.

'Don't worry. I didn't charge you for the extra soda.'

Root beer/garden.

"We met on Fizzbook!"

"Nothing...the machine says to insert a dollar bill face up."

"We won!"

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

The Alpha Seltzer

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

The last song before the party exploded.

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

'When my business turned into a lemon, I made lemonade....but that also failed when nobody liked its taste'

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"Losing your fizz is very common for a man your age."

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

'Do you mind if I take a straw?'

'Is your cap on tight? We don't want any more accidents in the bed, do we?'

'Come to order' 'I'll have a burger, hold the mayo, and a large cola.'

“There once was a woman who lived in a can of prebiotic soda… & only then did she consume enough to reap the health benefits claimed on the label.”

'This cola only has half the calories, so if I only drink half that would be no calories!'

Spring Water

'A wine list? How prosaic. This is our list of lists: beer, wine, single malt scotch, water, soda, cognac...'

'Don't you have anything larger?'

'Qool - when the thirst come first.'

"I hate this damn counter and, by the way, you stink."

"These drinks are fun even after you've finished them."

Parson wishing to seem as though he is not drinking

Energy Drinks

"I didn't think our breakup would leave you so crushed."

"This coin must be 2,000 years old. Try not to put this one in a pop machine."