Sodas Pillows

"Two quarter-pounders, with fries and two large sodas. . . hey Tom, ask the guy in back if he wants anything."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"We won!"

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

The Alpha Seltzer

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

The last song before the party exploded.

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

'When my business turned into a lemon, I made lemonade....but that also failed when nobody liked its taste'

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

'Diet considerations.'

"I must say Jeff, there's something about your personal brand that I find refreshing."

"Losing your fizz is very common for a man your age."

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

'Is your cap on tight? We don't want any more accidents in the bed, do we?'

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'

"Who is having the 4 bean salad? Half portion?"

'Come to order' 'I'll have a burger, hold the mayo, and a large cola.'

'Are you sure you washed this salad?'

All you can eat salad bar has lifetime price.

'This cola only has half the calories, so if I only drink half that would be no calories!'

"When I was your age, I was a lot older."

“There once was a woman who lived in a can of prebiotic soda… & only then did she consume enough to reap the health benefits claimed on the label.”

Spring Water