Diet Drink Dilettante Gifts

'I'm sorry sir, we have 'diet cola' and 'diet lemonade', but not 'diet blood'.'

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

Garlic Free Zone.

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

'The second day of my diet is the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

'House wine?'

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

Too Skinny, Too Fat

Macho Vegetarian

"I asked a designer to come in and give the office a needed pick-me-up...probably should have been a little more specific."

'Normally, seafood is good for you.'

Turn around at the next junction, turn around now! Turn around immediately - you've forgotten your handbags!

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

'That's our most effective weight-loss patch.'

"I hate this smart refrigerator."

"You'll never lose weight if you don't stop nibbling at your desk."

The Salvador Deli

'You know full well, your gastric band won't work if you keep eating spaghetti like that!'

"A flake? I told you I'm on a diet."

'No booze, no red meat, easy on the carbs...I've given up living so I can live longer.'

'My diet allows me only one muffin a day!'

Pie.,

"Tell me again how well your low sodium diet is going."

"Past performance is no guarantee of future results."

"Oh come on!... How can I only have lost two ounces?!"

'Okay, okay. On second thought, maybe going on a diet isn't necessary.'