Dairy Dilettante Gifts

"...I have no idea how to make cheese."

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

Garlic Free Zone.

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

'The second day of my diet is the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

'House wine?'

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

Too Skinny, Too Fat

Macho Vegetarian

"I asked a designer to come in and give the office a needed pick-me-up...probably should have been a little more specific."

Mrs. H.G.Wells.

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

'Normally, seafood is good for you.'

'That's our most effective weight-loss patch.'

"I hate this smart refrigerator."

'My diet allows me only one muffin a day!'

"A flake? I told you I'm on a diet."

'No booze, no red meat, easy on the carbs...I've given up living so I can live longer.'

'You know full well, your gastric band won't work if you keep eating spaghetti like that!'

"You'll never lose weight if you don't stop nibbling at your desk."

The Salvador Deli

Pie.,

"Tell me again how well your low sodium diet is going."

"Past performance is no guarantee of future results."

"Would you prefer sparkling water, filtered water, tap water or water?"

A "half-life" is the time it takes for a quantity of a radioactive material to be cut in half by decay. In each successive half-life period, the quantity is halved again. Half-life length varies widely form element to element. Eating healthier is a common new year's resolution. Our data shows breaking this resolution follows a curve like those seen with nuclear decay. As of yesterday about ten percent of those who made the resolution this year are still sticking to it. We calculated the re

'Erm...I ordered the omlette!'

'I usually discourage high-fat foods, Mr. Hall, but in your case, a Good Humor bar is in order.'

"Oh come on!... How can I only have lost two ounces?!"

'Okay, okay. On second thought, maybe going on a diet isn't necessary.'