Health-conscious Drinker Pillows

The professor had developed a product that would change the world forever.

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

Happy Hour

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

'Try my health brew...1% fat, no cholesterol, high fiber and low sodium.'

The drinker.

'Is it organic?'

Spring.

Football fans in corona times

"Okay, who hasn’t eaten a McDonald’s burger in the past two days?"

'In that case I'll do nothing!'

"It's very important to wash your hooves!"

"There. Straight from the organic veggie patch. The world's most expensive carrot."

"...and lay off the energy drinks..."

'My prescription: digital textbooks.'

"So if I need to stop smoking and lose weight..what are you going to do about it?"

"And while you're waiting for your drinks can I get you something from the bar?"

"Sorry sir - our sun screen only goes up to Factor - 100..."

'Single or double?'

Apple Tree Dispenser

'If only you would let me cover this Tofu-vegetables stuff with ketchup, it would at least LOOK like real food...'

'Satchel, I have a hunch...'

"You're not allowed to enter the city. Your exhaust emissions are much too high!"

If that's my psychiatrist, I'm not here, but wherever I am, I'm living in the moment. ? ? Ring.

'I can give up drinking and lead a normal life?- Make up your mind, will you?'

"Mind if I shoot through?"

"India ink, straight."

Jesus turns water into Vitamin Water.

Recreational and Medicinal Wines

Weight watchers

WARNING: Smoking turns you into a donkey.