Health-conscious Individual Pillows

'My prescription: digital textbooks.'

'Test results indicate you broke your New Year's resolution.'

'After you finish that complimentary coffee from our waiting room, I'm going to recommend that you reduce your caffeine intake.'

'We don't call it 'plus size' anymore, we call it 'extra fun'.'

'How long have you had that nagging knee injury?!'

Wealth Inequality and Diets

Viral Thanksgiving Parade

Unvaccinated Summer

"...and lay off the energy drinks..."

"The nicotine patches have been great Dr, he hasn't been able to find the cigarettes since Thursday."

"I need to lose a few pounds - my car is starting to feel tight."

"You're not allowed to enter the city. Your exhaust emissions are much too high!"

'Weight loss can cause liver damage...'

WARNING: Smoking turns you into a donkey.

'I appreciate your wanting me to do a stress test but what do you think I'm going through right now?'

Another anthrax case...

Diet Smell...

'Right, where do I start?'

'Monkey see, monkey don't!'

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

I'm trying to read your test results from urology, but their server can only stream them a little bit at a time.

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

I have been working so hard I haven't gone to the gym in ages. You've been trying to make ends meet and forgot about the middle!

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

Running

I'm not evolving - I just thought I should lower my salt intake.

Wash your hands

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

Flash Cuisine

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'