Health-conscious Person Pillows

'Is it organic?'

Spring.

'In that case I'll do nothing!'

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

Running

Wash your hands

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

'Our menu is divided into three sections: Cancer causing foods, artery clogging foods, and foods that are being boycotted for political or environmental reasons.'

Flash Cuisine

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'You've become run down from working too much. Try sneezing on your boss.'

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

"She was really disappointed when she found out she was going to an eye doctor and not an iDoctor."

'Must you always point out my floss?'

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

'And also, no cigarettes, no cigars, no alcohol,no sweets,no dairy products, no bacon, no ham...'

"It's very important to wash your hooves!"

"Scientists have found out that drinking alcohol can be dangerous...well, water can be dangerous, too!"

"...and lay off the energy drinks..."

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

"Spring is in the air but it's December in my ABS."

What's really in junk food...

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

'My prescription: digital textbooks.'

"So if I need to stop smoking and lose weight..what are you going to do about it?"