Health Conscientious Pillows

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

Wash your hands

Running

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

Deep in the Heart of Texas: The Cholesterol Kid.

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'Two Aspirins'...'Brain Tumor'

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

"She was really disappointed when she found out she was going to an eye doctor and not an iDoctor."

'Must you always point out my floss?'

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

'Is it organic?'

Spring.

'In that case I'll do nothing!'

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

What's really in junk food...

"Scientists have found out that drinking alcohol can be dangerous...well, water can be dangerous, too!"

"...and lay off the energy drinks..."

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

"Spring is in the air but it's December in my ABS."

'My prescription: digital textbooks.'

"So if I need to stop smoking and lose weight..what are you going to do about it?"

'Test results are back. Coffee, donuts, sleep deprivation. Doc, you've got to start taking better care of yourself.'

"Sorry sir - our sun screen only goes up to Factor - 100..."

'At least my blood pressure is nice and low.'

'Oh now that is just wrong.'

"Middle age is when you finally get your head together, but your body starts falling apart."