Health Conscience Pillows

'Two Aspirins'...'Brain Tumor'

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

Wash your hands

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

Running

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

Deep in the Heart of Texas: The Cholesterol Kid.

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

"She was really disappointed when she found out she was going to an eye doctor and not an iDoctor."

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

'Must you always point out my floss?'

'Is it organic?'

Spring.

What's really in junk food...

'In that case I'll do nothing!'

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

"Scientists have found out that drinking alcohol can be dangerous...well, water can be dangerous, too!"

"...and lay off the energy drinks..."

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

"Spring is in the air but it's December in my ABS."

'My prescription: digital textbooks.'

'Test results are back. Coffee, donuts, sleep deprivation. Doc, you've got to start taking better care of yourself.'

'Be patriotic. Food prices are rising. Eat less.'

"We're very green here, we recycle everything."

"Was that the crack of dawn, Arthur, or your back?"

'At least my blood pressure is nice and low.'

'You fell that there is a thin person inside trying to get out? Sure it's only one?'

"We're seeing a lot of Selfie Face Syndrome lately."

'Oh now that is just wrong.'

"Middle age is when you finally get your head together, but your body starts falling apart."