Health Consciousness Advocate Pillows

'When I get abs, do I have to shave my chest?'

'Must you always point out my floss?'

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"This isn't helping my migraine."

Wash your hands

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

Running

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

Deep in the Heart of Texas: The Cholesterol Kid.

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'Two Aspirins'...'Brain Tumor'

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

"She was really disappointed when she found out she was going to an eye doctor and not an iDoctor."

Bubbling

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

"Scientists have found out that drinking alcohol can be dangerous...well, water can be dangerous, too!"

What's really in junk food...

"Spring is in the air but it's December in my ABS."

A Message from the Sponsors: Enjoy a delicious burger & soft drink before the next race.

We can learn a lot from Macdonalds says Birmingham PCT director of service development.

'Test results are back. Coffee, donuts, sleep deprivation. Doc, you've got to start taking better care of yourself.'

'Oh now that is just wrong.'

"Middle age is when you finally get your head together, but your body starts falling apart."

"Was that the crack of dawn, Arthur, or your back?"

'At least my blood pressure is nice and low.'

"We're very green here, we recycle everything."