Health-conscious Gourmand Gifts

'I want you to go vegetarian.'

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

The wonderful world of cheese.

But is it organic?

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

'The TZ90C with triple boosted propane burners and a titanium mesh grill with carbon fibre casings is the only way to guarantee that genuine back to nature outdoor flavour.'

"How's everything here? Let's start with your earliest childhood memories."

'Diet considerations.'

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

Just one more choccy...

'Is it organic?'

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

Making healthy eating bearable.

"Here's your dessert. A guilt counselor iss standing by to help you once you calculate how many calories you've consumed."

'Non-alcohol beer, unsalted potato chips and tofu hot dogs? Why did you accept a party invitation from a cardiologist?'

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

'Trade you lunches?'

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

"Tonight's specials include beef wellington (long regarded as a major source of cholesterol and saturated fat), Cajun-style swordfish (suspected of containing PCBs and toxic metals), and chicken teriyaki (recent increase in the incidence of salmonella whi

Woman in Restaurant has Menu and Calorie Counter.

"Sunday dinner just isn't the same without growth promoters"

'Bless this food, and protect us from the pesticides and additives therein.'

'Are you ready for dessert?'

Complex Carbs

"There. Straight from the organic veggie patch. The world's most expensive carrot."