Health-conscious Consumer Gifts

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

"And this new product has absolutely no added preservatives...at least I didn't add any!"

Man stood at genetically modified fruit and veg stand.

"Good For You / Bad For You"

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

"Stop the throw-away mentality! Save resources! A New Year every 750 days is quite enough!"

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"We're odd looking but just as good."

All Natural Nothing

I'm trying to read your test results from urology, but their server can only stream them a little bit at a time.

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

'Excuse me - are you organic?'

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'Do you ever think about how we can reduce our global footprint?'

I have been working so hard I haven't gone to the gym in ages. You've been trying to make ends meet and forgot about the middle!

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

I'm not evolving - I just thought I should lower my salt intake.

Wash your hands

Running

'The U.S. has less than 5% of the world's population, but consumes 25% of its natural resources. Pretty outrageous, isn't it?'

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

Man in radiation suit with 'Fresh Farm Produce'.

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

ONE MORNING WHILE GETTING DRESSED,