Health-conscious Snackers Gifts

"Maybe I'll just put these cookies back."

'Making these snacks low-fat was great because substituting sweetener for fat made them even more addictive.'

'This chocolate bar is full of fruit and nuts.'

Tartine

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Rage.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

Love is when you watch television together.

"Is the MSG local?"

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

Medical Marijuana Dispensary / Medical Cheez Doodles Dispensary

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

'You do realise that's pot pourii?'

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

Back in 5 minutes!

Sheltering in place.

"Goal!"

"He's an indoor cat."

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

How lazy people decide what to eat

A new career for George W. Bush: taster in a pretzel factory.

Cinemuck

'Prepare to meet your maker!'

"We missed the meeting, but there might be a couple of the little muffins left."