Eco-friendly Diner Gifts

"Just the steak for me and my friend will have the carbon dioxide and the water with the sunlight."

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

'It's an assault on the American family! At these prices, who's going to drive to grandmother's house for a thanksgiving dinner of tofu turkey?'

'They use paper plates.'

"All our vegetables are organic, ethically sourced and stunned before being boiled."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

Vegetarian Nightmare.

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

"I can't hurry when ordering. There's a lot of ecological geopolitics involved here."

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

"It's natural, vegan organic, no additives, preservatives or cooking."

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

'Could I have the traditional Christmas dinner but without meat or dairy and could guarantee it's organic and GM free.'

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

O'Malley's Pub. Special: Cloned Beef and Cabbage. Is nothing sacred anymore?

Woman in Restaurant has Menu and Calorie Counter.

"We're making progress."

"I eat the genetically modified flounder all the time and it's delicious."

The only problem with your current diet is really deforestation, and I'm afraid I'm unable to help...

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

"Is the parchment in the salmon en papillote humanely raised?"

"I'll get the onion soup... it's the only thing on the menu that I don't know why it's bad for me!"