Diet Conscious Foodie Gifts

Man ordering a lot of food adds 'Oh, and please don't forget my diet cola!'

But is it organic?

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

All Natural Nothing

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

'I'm tired of this bread and water diet.'

'Diet considerations.'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

Deep in the Heart of Texas: The Cholesterol Kid.

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

'Non-alcohol beer, unsalted potato chips and tofu hot dogs? Why did you accept a party invitation from a cardiologist?'

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

'Trade you lunches?'

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

I don't know about you, but I'm getting tired of fast food.'

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'