Diet Conscious Foodie Pillows

Man ordering a lot of food adds 'Oh, and please don't forget my diet cola!'

But is it organic?

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

All Natural Nothing

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'I'm tired of this bread and water diet.'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

'Diet considerations.'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

Deep in the Heart of Texas: The Cholesterol Kid.

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

'Non-alcohol beer, unsalted potato chips and tofu hot dogs? Why did you accept a party invitation from a cardiologist?'

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

'Trade you lunches?'

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!

I don't know about you, but I'm getting tired of fast food.'

Good cholesterol cop, bad cholesterol cop. Rice cake? Eat the donut punk.

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.