Divine Diner Gifts

Zagat Rated.

"About 417 years? That's fine... we'll be at the bar."

Angel Food Cafe...Manna and more: 'Would you like fries with your order?'

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

"You're not going to believe this -- they're making deep-fried manna."

"It's made with real angel hair."

"It lights up and vibrates when your judgement's ready."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

Countervailing Clichés.

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

Diner

'How is the water prepared?'

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

"The bagels are better in New York."

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

'How would you like your toast?'

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

"The Bluetooth Special comes with a side order of Wi-Fi."

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"A votre sante!"

'Our special of the day is spam sandwiches.'

'Would you folks care for some fresh maple syrup on your pancakes?'