Divine Dining Enthusiast Gifts

Me, Alice and God

"Give us this day our daily bread...and maybe a nice dip to go with it..."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

'Who gets the decaf?'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

"How's the salmon?"

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"