Divine Diners Gifts

Pizza delivery to heaven.

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

'Can I have flies with that'

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

"The waiter said he wouldn't recommend the octopus, so what do you order? The octopus."

'How would you like your toast?'

'...and one 'death by chocolate', Sir.'

"I'm getting plasma, iron and platelets. RH positive!"

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"A votre sante!"

You're pig-headed, Louis, I like that in a man.

Emily's Slow Food Restaurant.

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

Zagat Rated.

'Would you folks care for some fresh maple syrup on your pancakes?'

"Is everything ok with your Emile?"

Diner. Breakfast Specials. I'm a type "C" personality. Until I have my morning coffee I have no personality at all.

You know, Lars, you really should ask the waiter for a whine list. If it weren't for the fact that I can see the spelling in your word balloon, that insult would have gone right over my head.

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

"Just a drop."

A train's dining car is a diner.

"Take your time. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

Chicken Coupe.