Diner Devotees Gifts

'Life is like a cheap steak...it's tough.'

Gentlemen Without Caps Will Not be Served

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

'Watermelon - a fruit to eat, drink and wash your ears with.'

"Geeze, what did you say to him?" "President Palin."

All Knight Diner

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

'How would you like your toast?'

'...and one 'death by chocolate', Sir.'

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"Sorry Sir, but what exactly were you expecting to be served when you ordered the 'early bird special'."

"I'll have the prayer breakfast."

Emily's Slow Food Restaurant.

'Flipping pancakes.' 'Waiting with a net.'

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'