Diner Devotee Gifts

"House of Porridge"

"The knuckle sandwich looks good."

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

"Don't get your hopes up, honey. I call everybody 'honey.'"

'Of course it's cold. We serve breakfast anytime, but we only make it in the morning.'

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

'Todays special is yesterdays left overs.'

'That should get some more customers in here!'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"We serve REAL maple syrup."

"One B.L.T., one cherry pie, and one bowl of chili with crackers on the side!"

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

'A fly in your soup, eh? -- Call me if it gets any worse.'

'A bowl of the primordial soup, please.'

The tin woodsman discovers the advantages of having no heart,

'How would you like your toast?'

Dave's Diner.

'Sunnyside down.'

'Rudy's Diner: We Thaw Only The Best.'

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

'I'm going with the orange roughy. How about you?' 'Im' going with the waiter!'

"Open up. . . all our coffee cups are dirty."

"Of course the food's awful. Mom's home cooking."

"I'm the short order cook."

"Would it kill ya to call home once in a while?"

"You can't expect me to learn this job in an hour."

Night virus

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"Leave the pot, Gloria."

"This peas porridge tastes like it's none days old!"

'My doctor says I need more good cholesterol. I think this sausage is as good as it gets.'

"Is this menu recycled?"

"Would you care for a drink before or after I shove menus in your face?"