Restaurant Dining Devotee Gifts

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

Advanced footsie

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"What kind of biscuits are they?"

"Expense account or regular?"

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."