Devoted Diner Gifts

"Ever since lunch today, I've been thinking about lunch tomorrow."

'When I come home from a hard day at the office I expect a little more than that for dinner!'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

'Who gets the decaf?'

Newton had actually discovered gravity at a family dinner in his early childhood.

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

"Expense account or regular?"

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

'How would you like your toast?'

Mom's Diner/Mom's Desserts

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

'...and one 'death by chocolate', Sir.'

"The waiter said he wouldn't recommend the octopus, so what do you order? The octopus."

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"