Dining Club Devotee Gifts

"Please take me to your club."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"Expense account or regular?"

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

'...and one 'death by chocolate', Sir.'

'How would you like your toast?'

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

'Look, I'll be brief. I love you, let's eat and hit the sack.'

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

Emily's Slow Food Restaurant.

'Flipping pancakes.' 'Waiting with a net.'

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'