Dining Club Devotee T-Shirts

"Please take me to your club."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

Come on! They're posting the spring musical. I can't wait! I want a romantic part! With and elegant gown. Good luck with that! We're doing "Cats."

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"Expense account or regular?"

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

Mom's Diner/Mom's Desserts

"The waiter said he wouldn't recommend the octopus, so what do you order? The octopus."

'How would you like your toast?'

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

'...and one 'death by chocolate', Sir.'

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

'Look, I'll be brief. I love you, let's eat and hit the sack.'

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

"A votre sante!"

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

Emily's Slow Food Restaurant.

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'