Diet Club Devotees T-Shirts

'Well my lightest ever was 7lbs 4oz. . .'

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"I've put on a few ounces, but it's mostly paperweight."

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'I gotta lose some weight.'

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

'The first thing you need to do is lose 40 pounds of that baby boomer fat.'

"I'm a monster."

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

'I followed you advice for losing weight....i got naked and stood in front of a mirror...they threw me out of the restaurant.'

"This is the 'carboniferous' age and we're here in the 'Carbs-Are-Really-Bad-For-Us' Age."

"Why are we eating all this fattening stuff? Pier pressure."

'…and I want you to limit yourself to 3 feeding frenzies a day.'

'I don't get it! I've been exercising for six weeks now and haven't lost a pound.'

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

"If you order from our wellness menu, you get a side of yogurt with every dish."

'It started with between-meal snacks -- now he's having between-snack noshes.'

Obesity Report

Full fatHalf fatVirtually fat free.

The trick to losing weight is to eat a small portion and wait 10 minutes. By then your resolve has caught up with your appetite!

"I'm right off my quinoa doc."

'When does the fridge go on a diet?'