Dinner Date Devotee Gifts

"Hold that afterthought!"

'Gail, my dear, please don't talk about sex - my God this is a restaurant!'

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"You've got some beard in your food."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

Romantic Violinist.

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."

"Oh, how sweet of you."

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

The Bare Minimum

'...and one 'death by chocolate', Sir.'

'How would you like your toast?'

"The waiter said he wouldn't recommend the octopus, so what do you order? The octopus."

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

Emily's Slow Food Restaurant.

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

"A votre sante!"

Dave's Hamburger Shop

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'