Diner Devotees Pillows

'Life is like a cheap steak...it's tough.'

Gentlemen Without Caps Will Not be Served

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

What'll it be, hon'? I'll have the illusion that you calling me "hon" means you want me.

'Watermelon - a fruit to eat, drink and wash your ears with.'

"Geeze, what did you say to him?" "President Palin."

All Knight Diner

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

'How would you like your toast?'

Mom's Diner/Mom's Desserts

"The waiter said he wouldn't recommend the octopus, so what do you order? The octopus."

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

'...and one 'death by chocolate', Sir.'

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'