Diner Aficionados Pillows

"It's the kind of trade you get in a twenty-four-hour-a-day joint."

"I'll have whatever I'm hearing being opened in the kitchen."

What's a Texas Tommy? A hot dog stuffed with cheese and wrapped in bacon. Little Pete's Sounds great. Does it come with anything? A coronary.

Blue Bird Diner: 'Food like mother used to regurgitate.'

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

Unset Menus

Thousands of people gathered today to protest the nation's laws on marijuana, when suddenly everybody lost interest and ended up in a local Denny's.

"I should've let him pay the check!"

"Honey, I'm going to need on of those kid menus."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

Life is for the birds.

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

'A cheeky red?'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'Who gets the decaf?'

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'