Diner Regulars Gifts

Diner. Special: Seizure Salad. It's probably a typo, but I'm not going to risk it.

"Whatever you do, don't complain about the coffee!"

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'Who gets the decaf?'

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

Countervailing Clichés.

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

'How is the water prepared?'

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

'Can I have flies with that'

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

Mom's Diner/Mom's Desserts

"The waiter said he wouldn't recommend the octopus, so what do you order? The octopus."

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!