Diner Frequenter Gifts

'I don't believe in reincarnation, but I did in a previous life.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

'Who gets the decaf?'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

'Can I have flies with that'

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

'How would you like your toast?'

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

'...and one 'death by chocolate', Sir.'

Mom's Diner/Mom's Desserts

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

Choice hellhole

'One placebo or two, doctor?'