Diner Frequenter Pillows

'I don't believe in reincarnation, but I did in a previous life.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

'Who gets the decaf?'

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

'Can I have flies with that'

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

'...and one 'death by chocolate', Sir.'

'How would you like your toast?'

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

Choice hellhole

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'