Diner Frequent Flyer Pillows

"Burger with - I'm guessing - American cheese?"

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Carefree luggage.

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

'What zip code are we in now?'

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

Walking Luggage.

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

Child on an airplane wearing a shirt with a switch that says "Airplane mode"

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

A private jet takes off

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

Airplane Mode.