Diner Frequent Flyer T-Shirts

"Burger with - I'm guessing - American cheese?"

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Carefree luggage.

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'What zip code are we in now?'

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

Walking Luggage.

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

Child on an airplane wearing a shirt with a switch that says "Airplane mode"

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

A private jet takes off

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

Countervailing Clichés.

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

Airplane Mode.

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'