Diner Regular T-Shirts

'Yeah we found it, hey Ichabod, remember that jack o' lantern somebody left at table two this morning? Where is it?'

"For dessert I'll have milk and cookies."

'Coffee will stunt your growth -- here's some nice prune juice instead.'

"Our special today? Hot wings!!"

'Ralph, I'm gonna' need wings on the fly!'

"It says '3 minute egg' but it actually takes 5 minutes."

"Look, I'd just like to finish my eggs."

The Man Who Couldn't Say "When."

"WHAT!?!"

"Could you please bring me a doggy bag for my homework?"

"Keep pouring. I'm a masochist."

'I'll have the Eggs Benedict Arnold, and make that two faced.'

'...sunnyside down.'

DINER, 'No more rumcake for you, pal - go on home to your wife and elves.'

'Spilled in the line of duty'

No Fly Zone.

Unrequited coffee lover

"You were supposed to be IN the soup!"

Pie.,

Big Birthday Boy Breakfast.

At a caf? the special board says 'Today's special - take it, or leave it.'

Okay... which one of you ordered the holy mackerel?

"There's an old-school barbecue guy in 'House of Cards' who always has a plate ready for the main character....and the main character's evil."

"Apologies for the delay. Your eggs Benedict should be up soon."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"Rump roast?"

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."