Late-night Diner Regular T-Shirts

"Whoa, whoa. So, you're telling me for the past nine years I've been barking at a neon sign?"

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

'How would you like your toast?'

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

"A votre sante!"

Dave's Hamburger Shop

'Openly sobbing, or non-openly sobbing?'

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

"The usual."

'Yeah we found it, hey Ichabod, remember that jack o' lantern somebody left at table two this morning? Where is it?'

A train's dining car is a diner.

Joe's Truckstop Diner: Eat In - Take Out - Poop somewhere else.

"Take your time. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

"Just a drop."

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

'Ralph, I'm gonna' need wings on the fly!'

Okay... which one of you ordered the holy mackerel?

"It's just - this McDonald's closes at midnight."

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

Big Birthday Boy Breakfast.

"Apologies for the delay. Your eggs Benedict should be up soon."

Mum's Diner - you finish those veggies!

Pie.,