Late-night Diner Regular Prints

"Whoa, whoa. So, you're telling me for the past nine years I've been barking at a neon sign?"

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

"The waiter said he wouldn't recommend the octopus, so what do you order? The octopus."

'How would you like your toast?'

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'Openly sobbing, or non-openly sobbing?'

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"The usual."

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

"A votre sante!"

Dave's Hamburger Shop

'Yeah we found it, hey Ichabod, remember that jack o' lantern somebody left at table two this morning? Where is it?'

'Would you folks care for some fresh maple syrup on your pancakes?'

'Ralph, I'm gonna' need wings on the fly!'

Joe's Truckstop Diner: Eat In - Take Out - Poop somewhere else.

A train's dining car is a diner.

Diner. Breakfast Specials. I'm a type "C" personality. Until I have my morning coffee I have no personality at all.

"Take your time. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

Okay... which one of you ordered the holy mackerel?

"It's just - this McDonald's closes at midnight."

"Just a drop."

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

Mum's Diner - you finish those veggies!

Big Birthday Boy Breakfast.

'A fly in your soup, eh? -- Call me if it gets any worse.'