Diner Waitress Gifts

'What have you got?.' 'If you don't smell it we haven't got it.'

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

'Who gets the decaf?'

Countervailing Clichés.

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

'How is the water prepared?'

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

'Can I have flies with that'

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

'A Quarter-Tonner, please.'

'Meat cooked, but carrots still hard.' Hand in pot

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

'Regular or decapitated?'

"I'll have the prayer breakfast."

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'

'Waiter! -- there's a candidate in my soup!'

'Can I get a box for this?'

You're pig-headed, Louis, I like that in a man.

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

"Today's special is we'll pull the plug on the jukebox if someone else's music annoys you."

'Yeah we found it, hey Ichabod, remember that jack o' lantern somebody left at table two this morning? Where is it?'

Diner. Breakfast Specials. I'm a type "C" personality. Until I have my morning coffee I have no personality at all.

'Your tea is getting cold.'

"Would you like to see a dessert menu or do you not need a little treat after each meal?"

'Ralph, I'm gonna' need wings on the fly!'

Cafe: 'Soup of the day, Hon, is 'primordial'.'

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

"What do you recommend today?"