Diner Manager Gifts

'This chicken has no taste or character.' 'I thought you wanted to eat it, not offer it a job.'

'Sorry for the delay, sir -- your regular waiter entered the Federal Witness Protection Program.'

'A Quarter-Tonner, please.'

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

'No more water!'

'How about some beef stew? -- the wusses from the Health Department made us discontinue the chili.'

'Smells good. What is it?'

TGI Doomsday.

'I caught this industrial spy in the canteen. He was gagging.'

'If you get one who refuses to wake up, pour it in his lap.'

"Our salmon is wild. Our cook is farm-raised."

'I sent out for everything.'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"The fish sticks here are very good."

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"