Diner Worker Gifts

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

'Who gets the decaf?'

Countervailing Clichés.

"Honey, have you seen my onions?"

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

'How is the water prepared?'

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

'Can I have flies with that'

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

'A Quarter-Tonner, please.'

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

"I could have sworn I had three sausages!"

'Regular or decapitated?'

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

'Can I get a box for this?'

Gone to lunch back in 10 mins.

You're pig-headed, Louis, I like that in a man.

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'