Restaurant Worker Gifts

Help wanted - Better help wanted.

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

'The salary was terrific, but something about Sally's new job made her very uneasy.'

"Your son's autism is still affecting his job, but we're learning to deal with some of his repetitive symptoms."

"Honey, have you seen my onions?"

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

Novox Pizza - Fastest delivery in town.

Things were going smoothly until the waiter offered to place Ralph's napkin for him.

'Welcome to Valhalla. I'm Hilde and I'll be your Valkyrie for the night.'

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Have you ever been through a harvester before, Sir?"

"Whatever is quickest - I'm starving!"

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

"I could have sworn I had three sausages!"

"This is Gerald - he puts on the rubber bands."

"Wanna do lunch?"

"Yikes! Somebody ask him if they take plastic."

"Today's special is puréed sweet potato on cracker."

"Sorry, but we are temporarily closed. Our servers are down."

'The only thing better than being comped an '83 Amarone, is having a girlfriend who isn't a wine drinker.'

Seasonal workers in the restaurant trade: 'Salt...pepper'.

"Isn't that the boy you fired last week? You must be pleased he another job so quick."

"$15 an hour!...I demand $15 an hour!"

"It's called a tip, not a bribe."

"Robot waiters are OK, but I just wish they wouldn't hover so."

"Please listen carefully as our menu may have changed."

Covid Passport for Restaurant

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

Cow Tipping

"Uh-oh."

"I'll have this guy, this guy, and this guy."

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

"That's the food biz. Celebrity chef one day, graveyard shift hash jockey the next."

"Wait! Come back! You forgot the wasabi!"

"Riddle your salad with pepper, sir?"