Restaurant Work Gifts

Pot washer.

Hors d'oeuvres and Chaos...

A waiter carrying a tray of drinks

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Counting ribs

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

"You owe me five bucks."

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

Burger Queen: The Patriarchy is Dead.

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."