Restaurant Management Gifts

"Is there anyone here who specializes in stress management?"

'There's an inspector here from the Board of Health who would like to see the chicken soup.'

'But this can't be what I ordered ... I know I ordered somethng I like.'

'As you requested, we trimmed the fat.'

'I think they want to close up...'

'With our low prices we can't afford a chef.'

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

Chef looking up confused, Waiter behind him with pancake on his head.

'There's a fly in my soup.' - 'And a maggot in my steak tartare.'

'I asked for a rare steak and you certainly don't see many as BAD as this!'

"We don't need waiters since we computerized our ordering process. However, I could use an extra dishwasher."

Paul Bocuse caricature

"This is our soft opening."

"Best idea for a name I've had for years!"

'A formal inquiry could take months, sir, and still be inconclusive.'

'It feels warm enough to me.'

'There's a lamb chop in my soup.' - 'Oh, that's where it got to. It belongs to table six.'

Hygiene in food processing

'Those filthy rats - they've been gnawing at our hygiene certificate!'

"According to its DNA, your meatloaf is from an unknown species."

'Take no notice, I fired him ten minutes ago.'

"Remember, don't ever let the surveillance camera catch you killing a cockroach."

'Well, if even the mice wouldn't like our food, we'd have a really bad cook, am I right?'

Disaster in the kitchen.

Rat with a suggestion for a messy kitchen.

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"That's right, sir, soup of the week. We made quite a lot of it."

"Our chef recommends I 'get a haircut and lose the wise-guy attitude.'"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"And tonight we’re offering 5-1 odds on a kitchen strike."

"We could have really used you last year, but it seems to be clearing up."

"Sorry, that's not my table."

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Cook Book. The cookbooks are just Ernie's way of shifting the blame.

Armstrong, an unmarked truck just delivered a pallet of mystery meat. Turkey. It doesn't look like turkey. It looks more like some sort of dehydrated pigeon. What's it matter? If we slap it in a sandwich, smother it in "gravy," and label it "turkey," customers won't know the difference. Wait, did you just think quotes around the word gravy? "no."

'I'm sorry, but the soup of the day was just tripped over by the employee of the month.'