Delightful Diner Gifts

'There's a chandelier in my soup.'

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

Countervailing Clichés.

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'How is the water prepared?'

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

"Regular service or affected?"

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

"No, my consomme was perfect, but my husbands calamari is a little underdone."

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

"For drinks or dinner?"

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'

'How would you like that? Medium, rare, or wrapped in plastic on a foam tray?'

"Aperitif?"

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

"Perhaps I'm asking too much of you in the way of companionship."

'I'll have the steak.' (Fish in tank start jumping for joy).

'Waiter, you seem to have mixed my bill up with somebody who wants to buy this restaurant.'

'You made me jump,'

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

I like the look of the sherry trifle!

"When I eat out, I like to order something I would never make at home."

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

Lunch

'Your tea is getting cold.'

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

'All right, I agree with you.'

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

Our specials today include salad and dessert. Tip and service are NOT included.