Trendy Diner Gifts

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

Dali Chooses a Lobster

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

"For drinks or dinner?"

'The customer is always right...'

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"Fresh pepper?"

"No, no … the sashimi is fine. But I’m not crazy about your Wi-Fi signal."

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

"It's natural, vegan organic, no additives, preservatives or cooking."

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

Ketchup Kafe...Where Kondiment is King!

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

"My apologies, but that's not a meatball. That's my computer mouse. I've been looking for it."

"I'm allergic to penicillin—is there penicillin in the salad?"

'Waiter...!' (there is a human in my soup)

'Thanks for the invite: Don't cook anything fancy, I eat pretty much anything...'

Road Kill Cafe.

'I'm afraid things are rather confused around here today, sir- the Soup of the Day is a grilled-cheese sandwich'