Artful Diner Gifts

Dali Chooses a Lobster

Two Amateur Artists At Dinner

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

"For drinks or dinner?"

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

'The customer is always right...'

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"Fresh pepper?"

"It's natural, vegan organic, no additives, preservatives or cooking."

"Sorry no half portions - at least that's the quantum theory."

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

'I'm sorry the cod was not as good as when you came a month ago. It should have been - it was the same fish...'

"My apologies, but that's not a meatball. That's my computer mouse. I've been looking for it."

"There's a free pudding for whoever finds the Chef's glass eye."

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

"Dinner looks delicious."

Restaurant: Come & Get It! Bland Cuisine - 'Just plain food, good, but nothing fancy.'

'And for the Queen of Whiny Eaters, two pieces of bologna, cut into quarter-inch squares, coated with Abe's Barbecue Sauce...'

Man eating his meal with his feet.

Sorry, that's probably one of mine.

'I'm not very hungry after eating my first quarter losses.'

'I'm afraid things are rather confused around here today, sir- the Soup of the Day is a grilled-cheese sandwich'

Road Kill Cafe.

'Waiter...!' (there is a human in my soup)